“I’ve never been a patriot. I despise the idea. But now I can’t help but feel proud” “我從來不是一個愛國者。我鄙視這種想法。但現在我不禁感到自豪。”
I never imagined something like this could happen. Both my grandmothers are Russian, I speak Russian, and I always considered myself, well, kind of Russian. The last time there was a big confrontation with Russia, in 2014, I was worried. But I never saw missiles flying over my own head, so I didn’t pay much attention. I never expected a full-scale war with Russia. A week before this one started my dad asked me if I was concerned and I said I wasn’t. I was a blissful, ignorant fool.
The father of a friend of mine lives in Moscow. She sent him a picture of a shell that landed 100 metres from her own house, and he replied: “It’s photoshopped”. I keep thinking, it’s his own daughter, how could he even think that? It’s hard for me to fathom.
I’ve never been a patriot. I used to despise the idea. Now I can’t help but feel proud and inspired by them and all those who help them. There is a video I can’t stop watching of a Ukrainian soldier just casually loading his rifle, smiling and saying to the Russian troops: “How are you enjoying our welcome so far, guys?” I must have watched it five times in a row.
How will this end? I keep imagining Volodymyr Zelensky releasing a video telling us that it’s all over, it’s all fine now, that we should go and get some food. But I don’t know if that will happen. We’re tired as hell. We’re seeing our city get destroyed building by building. We’ve just got to get through this.■