影像器材周邊 - [分享] 如果你拿著一隻白砲的話......... - 相機

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[分享] 如果你拿著一隻白砲的話.........

剛剛看到某貼有渾身是砲的攝影師的英勇行為,想起在 Fred and Miranda 上面的一個討論串,還蠻好笑的

特別花了一點時間翻譯一下。。。。

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有天我帶著 400/4 DO 出門,在一個眺望著太平洋的峭壁邊上,等著鵜鶘乘風飛上來,有兩個人在我背後發話了。
甲:『你拿這東西想拍什麼?』
乙:『日本 !』


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有一個週末我扛著腳架,帶著小兔和 600/4L 到國家公園去外拍。被一對小情侶撞見,18 歲的小女生走過來問我『請問....你那隻是照相機還是望遠鏡』,那時天色已晚,我隨口應『照相機』.
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『更.............我輸了』


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背著 600/4L 走了一段路以後,不但汗流浹背而且還有點喘,有個小白就跑來我旁邊說『辛苦你了,還好你沒帶長鏡頭出來 ^^||』(伊娘哩,不然你是有 1200/5.6)
然後他又說『打到什麼鳥了嗎?』(看來是個練家子)
『沒打到,不過剛剛在這邊有打到一隻獅子』
『@@ 真的嗎.....』
他雖然有點被嚇到的樣子,不過還是繼續裝痞子
『少來了,我在這邊慢跑超過二十年了』
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.............於是我就給他看我剛剛拍到的照片


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又有一天,大概早上七點,我在 Tillamook 附近的 Three Capes 國家公園準備把身上的裝備卸下來,當天我身上的裝備是 1)外套 2)攝影背心 3)Tamrac 背包和備用三腳架 4)肩帶上面裝著另一個機身 5)主力三腳架,上面裝著主力機身和長鏡頭,把裝備脫下來以後我發現有一個家庭愣愣的盯著我看,半晌,媽媽酸酸的說『你穿那麼多不會悶死嗎』


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我不知道別人會不會這樣,不過每次我去的地方觀光客都很多,常常有人請我用他們的傻瓜相機幫他們拍照,他們應該多少知道我不會把他們的相機搞壞才放心讓我拍 (苦笑)
有一天我在舊金山替一群人拍照,我把相機對準他們,讓他們站在一起,然後左腳弓右腳箭,把相機轉直替他們拍了一張好片(自豪ing ),拿給他們看的時候,那人居然說『沒想到你拍的還不錯嘛.....』
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.............啊不然你以為我拖著一大堆器材跑來跑去是在練身體喔。


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有一次我在沼澤裡瞄準了一隻麋鹿,站在及膝的臭水裡面,離路有五十公尺遠,傍著一個小丘,靜靜的等待光線走到我想要的位置。

有一個開休旅車的小白看到我,停下車帶著他的小孩走出來
然後大叫:
『你-那-隻-是-幾- m-m -的』
......
麋鹿警覺的把頭抬起來,
....................那個死小孩看到鹿.....居然開始......尖叫
.......
.......
我裝做沒聽到,那個死白目不死心,還繼續
『那-個-一-定-很-重-吧,欸,阿弟阿,你看,他背那個走那麼遠耶』
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麋鹿嚇一大跳,跳起來絕『泥』而去
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『打-的-好-啊』
............................................鹿跑了


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....剛剛都是聽別人說的,現在是我的親身經歷,今天早上我去潮間帶打水鳥,那個地方大概水深三呎,我帶著小兔, 600/4L, 1.4 加倍鏡還有 12mm 延伸管,牢牢的鎖在我的 Gitzo 三腳架和 Wimbery-head 雲台上面,雖然裝備沉重依然固若金湯 (
(怪醫注: 這傢伙打鳥大概像這樣: http://genq.boo.jp/blog/archives/cat_ue.html )。
打鳥時我會用一張軍用品店買來的偽裝網,用來讓鳥兒放鬆戒心,雖然這個今天偽裝網看起來跟環境實在差粉多 。 照完了以後,我從相機上面把網子拆下來,然後先把它放在小路上面待會再收。
有兩個越南老太婆從小路上走過來,其中一個看到我穿的攝影背心,於是就指著那個網子正經八百的說
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你今天抓了多少魚啊


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不會照相的遊客,每次看到我都說:
"Wow, that's a canon!"

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定的器材還沒來,沒辦法勸敗,乾脆翻譯一點東西大家笑一下.....
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原文:
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I was out shooting with the 400mm f/4 DO, on a cliff overlooking the Pacific, waiting for pelicans to ride the wind up the cliff. Two guys walk up behind me:
First Guy: What are you taking pictures of!!
Second Guy: Japan.

One weekend I was out at a state park with my 1dm2 & 600mm f/4 and tripod and was approached by a young couple. The 18ish girl walks up to me and asks, "Is that a camera or a telescope?" It's the late afternoon. I reply, "A camera," and she says, "Oh damn, I just lost a bet!"

As I was putting the 600 f4 in the trunk, I was sweating a bit from a long hot walk, and a guy walks up and says, "Hard work, huh? Good thing you didn't bring the long lens!"

"Wow! Did you get any pictures of birds with that?"
>"No, I got a Mountain Lion."
"Really?" Nervously now, "Not really right? I've been jogging here for 20 years."
I showed him the picture...

Another story; Around 7am, I was unloading at Three Capes State Park near Tillamook, Oregon. As I turned around after putting on my 1)jacket 2)photo vest 3)Tamrac backpack with extra tripod 4) second body on shoulder strap & 5)main camera body & long lens (with green cover) mounted on main tripod, I saw a whole family watching me. The Mom says with more than a hint of sarcasm, "Oh, well, you'll be inconspicuous in that!"

I don't know about you guys, but everyplace I go that the tourists also go, they all hand me their P&S camera and ask if I'll take their picture. Okay, I guess it makes sense, they know I'm not going to run off with their camera.
So I take a picture of a couple in SF the other day, and as I'm lining up the shot, I make them move to one side, and I drop to one knee for the right angle. and flip to portrait with the camera. I hand it back and they look at the screen.
With great surprise the man says, "That's pretty good..." Did he think I lug all this camera gear around for the exercise?

Lining up for a shot of Roosevelt Elk in a marsh. I'm up to my knees in muck, 50m away from the road, at the bottom of a steep hill, waiting for the right light, the right moment. Man in minivan gets out with children.
Man yells:"What size lens is that?" Elk heads pop up in alarm. kids start screaming...
Man yells:"I bet that's heavy! Look at that, kids, he carried that all the way down there!" Elk start briskly moving away.
Man yells:"That'll be a good shot!" Elk are gone...

Okay, this one's really original... I went out this one morning to a tide flat to shoot birds. It's about 3' deep. I took the 1DM2, 600mm f/4, 1.4x TC, & 12mm extension tube with a Wimberly head on a massive Gitzo tripod. You can't miss the camera.
I bought a camoflage net, from the army surplus store. This fools birds, even if it doesn't match the surroundings. When finished, I went to roll up the net by picking it up from the camera, uncovering it, and then laying the net on the trail.
Just then, two older vietnamese women walk up the trail. One of them looks at me, in my photo vest next to the camera, points at the net and says quite seriously,
"How many fish you get with that?" :o ?

Latest comment from non photog tourist:
"Wow, that's a canon!"
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我從頭笑到尾
太好笑了啦

之前也有去風景區請人拍照的時候
那個人問我...阿你的數位相機怎沒有LCD可以看
我:因為這台是底片機
心中OS:他看起來那麼像DSLR嗎?

GALENT wrote:
之前也有去風景區請人拍照的時候
那個人問我...阿你的數位相機怎沒有LCD可以看
我:因為這台是底片機
心中OS:他看起來那麼像DSLR嗎?


如果你拿的是MINOLTA的DYNAX 7....那麼十個有八個會這樣問
DYNAX 7的機背有個大大的黑白液晶螢幕
http://leox243.blogspot.com/
上次去鶯歌也被一個媽媽問:你這是用望遠鏡喔?哪一牌的阿?不便宜齁....
解釋了很久,她好像似懂不懂....說這是Canon的相機,他說沒聽過....
我只好拿著小小白哭著跑開~~~
20D, 1VHS, 3, 5D, 17-55, 16-35II, 85L, 35L, 小白IS, V125/2.5Macro, 550, 580
常常拿FM2出門也會碰到很多遊客要我幫忙拍照,
也常常聽到人說:「你的數位相機怎麼沒有螢幕啊?」
「FM2?NIKON?現在怎麼會有人還用底片拍照?」
「你的相機一定很貴喔~」(抱歉!我買新品時的價格也不會比你手上的F828貴.......^^|||)
「你看!他的鏡頭可以轉耶!」

最爽的一次是在7-11遇到一個有修攝影課的店員妹妹,
一直繞著我問我的FM2,
她是說想要買可是沒有錢,
要我借給她玩一下!
除此之外,
遇到的都是很的人啊~
配備: 相機:Nikon FM2 & Nikon D70s & Konica S4 AUTO
真是難得的好文.呵呵.不然最近器材看的太多了.好像有點失去攝影的本質了.
一張看似普通的相片.拍的人可是付出了很多的心力呢.
http://photo.xuite.net/kawaine
bm2000 wrote:
常常拿FM2出門也會碰到很多遊客要我幫忙拍照,
也常常聽到人說:「你的數位相機怎麼沒有螢幕啊?」
「FM2?NIKON?現在怎麼會有人還用底片拍照?」
「你的相機一定很貴喔~」(抱歉!我買新品時的價格也不會比你手上的F828貴.......^^|||)
「你看!他的鏡頭可以轉耶!」
最爽的一次是在7-11遇到一個


恕我直言, 你真的徹底遜掉了.

因為...

FM2 不會嗶嗶...
一箱二閃,三腳四頭,九年敗家罪過罪過;五包六卡,七機八鏡,十片濾鏡遮醜遮醜
原來怪醫也上FM。

FM真是個可怕的地方,各種高手都有從照婚禮的到只玩鏡頭的。

我現在不敢上FM了,每次去都有敗家的念頭。

敗家怪醫 wrote:
剛剛看到某貼有渾身是...(恕刪)

driver300 wrote:

恕我直言, 你真的徹底遜掉了.

因為...

FM2 不會嗶嗶...

嗶嗶??
什麼意思啊~
我的FM2可是會「喀擦喀擦」的!
配備: 相機:Nikon FM2 & Nikon D70s & Konica S4 AUTO

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